Contemplating...

I sit beside myself today wondering where my life would go
I could be high right now or I simply could be feeling low

I don't know when it would rain or when the earth would tremble
I don't know when the sky would fall or when I may just stumble

My anxieties have no end and I call upon my freind
Will I ever be free, I say, when I'll see a brighter day

The sun comes up each day, says my freind
(It goes down each evening too, as the cynic in me would append)
You just need to get up early to see more of it and sleep early to see less of the night.

The Little things..

Smile , the one thing that strikes me when i think of the time when i just did not mind falling off my bicycle while taking that very sharp turn, proving my heroism to the invisible crowd who even gave me a standing ovation. The endless mud fights, skipping ropes, unfair turns to make-beleive games, begging for sleep-overs, for playing in the rain, they all led to one thing....Smile. I wish it was as easier to reach that state today. I wish i could still not be afraid to fall off that bike and there'd be real people there to help me up...and not laugh at my fall....and I wish smiling was as easy as it used to be......through those very little things .....

Random Thoughts.. :)

I feel so overwhelmed right now..I don't even have a reason for it..I guess I just realized that I have no reason to feel remorseful anymore..and it's not that I have become numb..in fact I just feel so full of life right now..I just don't want to complain anymore, blame others for how I feel right now, because the fact is that most of us let others decide how we should feel...we can choose to ignore all and perhaps thank them for making us feel a certain way...it may have been really special and maybe all that's gone right now but the fact is that we did feel special...I think its best to just thank that person for making me feel that way and smile...I did that and it actually helped...:)

Stuck in the past

As I drove home from work today indulged in the usual conversation and traffic, I happened to share a joke that any sane entity would perhaps prefer to share when he was 10 years younger. But since insanity governs me, there i was cracking it and laughing at my own hilarity ...not that it wasn't funny...It had something to do with a comic book that one used to read 10 years ago...(yea I'm an ancient person so make it 20 years..ok ok I'm exaggerating a little :P) So anyhow, my colleague was slightly amused and told me that I'm still living in the past..I smiled and pondered...It does seem like I'm living in the past..I keep talking about my experiences in college/school...what about work..Isn't life moving out there... If it is then its moving really fast..I can't even relate to the past 5 years since I left college...they seem to mean nothing more than age to me...Its as though my life came to a halt when I left college...Well, Its just a thought and I'm done sharing it.. :)

The bigger the balloon, louder will it explode

Its funny how science and human behavior go hand in hand. I thank the person who inspired me to write this. If it wasn't for him I would have never come up with this theory. The theory talks about an obsession called "blowing the balloon". The balloon is off course filled with air. So the balloon becomes the ego and the air is the self proclaimed glory.

Now, when you fill the "ego" like balloon with a lot of "self proclaimed glory" like air, the ego is bound to burst on the slightest prick. The ego not only becomes more vulnerable, it also explodes with a louder bang. This is because the self proclaimed glory (air) occupies so much space that the ego can't sustain it anymore. Therefore, BOOM goes the ego.

I conclude this post with the title, "the bigger the balloon, the louder will it explode."

My Dearest Blog.... :P

I just finished an assignment given to me a little too early so I thought I'll update my least visited and "post" deprived blog considering I had time and was left with nothing else to do... :P

Seriously I'd like to visit my blog more often than I actually do... I bet my friends visit my blog more often than me... (thank you so much... :P) ... I have come across so many blogs that talk about issues, opinions, life etc. ... I for one consider myself to be a "diary entry" kind of person...I used to maintain one as a child and would fill it with all that my mind could think of (which wasn't much... :D) ... I would fill it with my crush stories, my favorite famous person stories, favorite song lyrics... Now that I come to think of it...I don't think I have changed one bit... I surprise myself at times... :o

The Fall and Rise

"I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
Wait until the dust settles"

I think I relate to this song today more than any other day. Not because I feel lost or miserable but because I feel stronger. The fall was bad but the rise would be glorious. The fall will always be there, if its not there, you have nothing to rise from and be glad about, you have nothing to contemplate and learn from.

I fell in a dubious thing called "love" only to realize that it was indeed dubious. I have no one but me to blame for my lack of good decision making skills along with complete disregard to logic and rationality. The dust has begun to settle and I'm waiting for it to settle down on a sodden land so that when I come around, I come around clean.